Monday, July 27, 2009

Control

Hey All!,
So as many of you know I am in grad school with two semesters left! I am SOO ready to be done:) As I get closer to my senior year I find myself just needing a bit of control since SO much is feeling out of my control! I know no one knows the future, and we prob. do not want to either!, but at times I yearn for SOME control! Be it classes, papers, work, future jobs in my field, or my loved one's....I sometimes feel spinning and turning. I am sure everyone goes through this as they enter a new "phase" of their life, but my goodness it is annoying!
So as I get advice to relax and not worry I find myself still worrying! Well, I think I just need to do what my Dad always tells me whenever I get overwelmed....."Heather, remember your past successes and things always seem to work out for you". I guess I just need to write that in my wallet or something:) I also think I need to start up my journal writing (hence this long post) and read a verse out of the Bible every night again. I always pray but maybe my prayers should be simplier in nature (as my prayers tend to be WAY long). So for now deap breaths, God, my Dad, and my ever patient boyfriend are helping me more than I think they know!

2 comments:

  1. aww I am so glad that you have such a great relationship w/ your dad...always cherish that!

    what your dad said about " remember that everything always works out for you" is a very powerful statement because its about letting go and having FAITH that no matter what...you are going in the right direction, the direction God is pulling you towards...just listen to your heart and remember that life is precious and live...just live ...and if you are not happy then you re not TRUELY living ( this is what I have found thru my experience)

    On another note ( about the control thing) I can relate to you as you know...but I am TRYING so hard to actually not gain control..but just let go of the control and say F it...F it all!...because I find that in the moments when I can just let go and say F it all...I am at peace.. I want to share w/ you a poem I wrote recently related to these topics ( I too need to make more time to write ):

    I found an in-between today and much to my surprise,
    I found a bit of me in peace above supressing cries.
    I found it in the letting go and touching the un-thinkable.
    Realizing my incessant thoughts were less than me and sinkable.
    Down with that ship I said and out with clear blue skies,
    They are now the apparent and shining beyond the fearfull lies.

    Hope all my babble helped or at least gave you insight...love u

    ReplyDelete
  2. I understand your sentiment, but we know that God always knows how He is being there for you and how you need Him.

    A spirit of gratitude is healthy for our sanity!

    ReplyDelete